The Inner Struggles of Introverts — A Guide

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In the 21st century, communication has become one of the most important metrics to track the progress of our evolution. For many, communication is all about expressing their feelings. For a lot of us, it’s not difficult to put that out, but there are a few, who can’t even look at other people’s faces when talking. We call them ‘introverts’ and look at them like an endangered species that needs some attention but then again, we ignore them and move on with our lives.

Now we are so busy living others’ lives that we neglect to care about the small things that matter to most of them — ‘Understanding their feelings’. Like several other species, humans can express their feelings, but there’s a serious disconnect in terms of understanding it. Hearing out others’ feelings is so cliché now. Even if we hear it out, we often find some entertainment in it. A lot of us crave drama and our opinions or answers mostly break others’ hearts. No wonder not many can understand the inner struggles of introverts or typically the ones who cannot convey their feelings. Let’s identify the problems first —

Why aren’t many able to convey their feelings?

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• Courage — They don’t dare to express it and can’t lie about their feelings either, so they struggle internally.
• Honesty — They want to be honest in expressing their feelings but won’t do so as they’re afraid of how others take it.
• Hope — They tend to keep hope that others are going to understand it, but then again, their anxiety kicks in and doesn’t allow them to convey it.
• Expectations — Everyone has their expectations, and the people who can’t convey their feelings manage to keep their expectations based on an assumption that the other party will expect even more, and they may not be able to match it.
• Overthinking — Overthinking might sound like a simple term but it’s the root cause for everything. Even if they get the courage, they are inclined towards thinking about different scenarios and don’t leap.

There may be many other problems that cause them to not take a step further, but then it isn’t the only situation they struggle to talk their heart out.

The Inner Struggles of Introverts — Not Your Typical Teenage Drama

Expressing these feelings may be an immense internal struggle for many, but other difficulties kill them…softly.

Best FriEND(s) — For Eternity

• There’s no definite moment or reason why someone becomes a best friend. Accepting someone as a best friend takes a considerable amount of time and once they accepted, they stick to them.
• A lot of us may have many friends and best friends, and for an introvert, this number is quite low. Here’s something that not many know about introverted people — they don’t like to have a lot of friends but just one best friend. So, what do you get when you become their only best friend?
• You get undivided attention from them and they constantly hear you out and are there whenever you need them. Things go great but you eventually get bored and may talk less. It may not be because some issues or problems crept into the friendship, but it’s because you may have other friends and constantly strive to explore new things.
• In the beginning, they may not understand the sudden behavioral change and tend to talk to you and get to know what you are going through, but they can ultimately sense what’s going on. They know that you are not angry or there are some other reasons why you are avoiding them and they don’t know how to make things right.
• It’s not easy for them to just let you go off and at the same time, don’t know how to make you understand too. It’s like abandoning a puppy that you cared for a few months.

Love (s) — Honestly!

• It’s quite common to fall in love with your best friend and there are many reasons why there’s a great possibility. But the main problem comes when you realize you are in love and you cannot express it. This is not only an issue for introverted people but also many. The only difference is how the introverts handle it.
• In general, introverts are self-absorbed, self-contained people living in their world, and opening doors to someone would take a lot of thinking and time. They had thought of all such scenarios and made sure to give preference to the friendship rather than to their feelings, but life happens.
• You’ll never know when you fall in love with someone and when that happens to an introvert, there’s going to be a lot of sleepless nights. If there’s one thing that they don’t want to be is falling in love with someone that they took into their world as a best friend. But what they don’t realize is there’s no other way to get into their world except to become their best friend in the first place.
• Expressing such complex feelings and always thinking about several scenarios make their life miserable.
• The conclusion they get into is that their best friend should understand this on their own as they’ve been a constant answer for almost all of their problems. But that’s not going to happen.

Marriage — Speechless

• A lot of us end up marrying some stranger who would have thought to get married as they were getting older. If there’s an understanding from the beginning, the relationship grows brighter but this never happens with introverts.
• Opening up to someone even after getting married is a constant struggle for them. They focus on other things just by the fact that they are anxious to talk. They don’t realize that their partner has expectations and this causes a lot of trouble.
• Sooner or later, they realize it, but figure out that it’s too late to discuss it and just battle with themselves innerly on how can they ignore someone who left the family to be with them.

Career — Never says No.

• Like several others, introverts are also filled with aspirations and aims to go higher. They don’t realize how smartly people take advantage of them.
• One of the fundamental principles they follow is to never say NO to any work and give their best. But this is where many people take advantage of them.
• Even after realizing it, they may not be able to take action because of their insecurities. This affects them emotionally and the sheer fear of not being able to do anything about it causes them great pain.

Life — Survivors

• The workplace isn’t the only place where they are taken advantage as throughout of their life they have to face it as they cannot say no and don’t talk back.
• They just survive like a fish in a half-filled bowl. Either they can not fight back or ignore doing what they are given, and this constant struggle kills them…softly

If you notice, all these inner struggles are mainly because they are not able to convey what they are feeling, and it’d be too late by the time they realize it. For some people, they endure it for their lifetime only to lose it to death. Unlike animals, humans have developed a sophisticated approach to communication, but it hasn’t evolved to a stage where it is clearly understood.

Note: The article is a personal opinion of the writer and may or may not represent the inner struggles of all introverts. All the problems mentioned are either inspired or derived from the writer’s personal experiences.